Friday, February 8, 2008

Great News! Psyche.

Zapatera, you will looove this.
So I get an email from my agent yesterday--Audition for you! Great! I was selected based on my profile only; didn't have to do that "availability screening" or other garbage; just picked to audition. Awesome, right? So I look at the times, and I'm scheduled for 11:15 on Monday, to audition for Katie. Okay, who's Katie? I scroll down and see "Katie, 30s, needs to lose the baby weight."
So then, I pull up the script, which is indeed snark about "I need to lose the baby weight," and her friend (ha) says, "But your baby is 2, right?" Nice.
Then I see the breakdown in the script. (Katie, chubby.)

Oh, I am so happy to audition for this lovely role.

Then I think, what did they see on my profile to make me so right for the part? Yeah, 5' 5" and 135 is so chubby.
Or maybe it was the FAT FACE on my headshot.

But you know what, I'm not a size 2. I will never be a size 2. I never WAS a size 2. I went from girls 14 to size 6.

Hips happen. And muscles, too. Fear my muscles. I have them and they are strong. And they are big and weigh a lot. RRRaaaararrrrrrrrr!!!


David Chan Cordeiro said...

A kiss back to you too ;) Congrats on the audition. Keep us posted on how things turn out :) xx

zapatera said...

What a load, VB. When I think of you, the adjective "chubby" goes down near the end of the list, right next to "axe murderer."

You know Kristen Johnson, from Third Rock from the Sun? 6' gorgeous blonde? At one point during that show, the producers wanted her to get down to a size 6. She said absolutely not. Does anyone think of her as fat? No. Did she lose her job? No. It's too bad the rest of us can't always marry our good self-images with our careers like that.

VenetianBlond said...

Well, if you hear any reports of axe murders, can you give me an alibi? I promised the director of my stage show that if I get this role I solemnly swear to eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby. My self image recovered a little when I saw all the other women at the audition--I would consider them all slender.